Wikipedia Wednesdays - Alex Hall

8/24/11

Well, this is new. After clicking ‘Random Article’ this time, I was taken to a disambiguation page. Alex Hall could, apparently, refer to any of at least six different people, and that’s only counting the ones notable enough to merit a Wikipedia page.

The first one is a British actress, the four after her are all male football players (one using the American definition of football, the other three using the European definition), and the last was a theater actor before he began directing movies. Now, I could simply write about one of them, but that would be unfair – how do I pick which one? – and contrary to my rules (I am to write about the page I come to, no matter what). Another option would be to write about all six of them, but I am lazy and busy packing for college.

Instead, I’ll just have to write about the name Alex Hall. As you can tell, it’s a name with three syllables, and is gender-neutral (though, as Alex is either short for a male or a female name, and neither Alexander nor Alexandra are gender-neutral, Alex isn’t so much gender-neutral as it is non-indicative of gender). The last name, Hall, like most monosyllabic last names, is a fairly strong, sturdy one, if somewhat simple, which might explain why so many of them are athletes. Ooh, burn.

Okay, this is stupid. I can’t do this. I’ve only got a few words to go, I'm giving up. All I want to point out is that one of the footballers, the Australian one, is listed as having been born in 1869, but does not have a date of death listed. Now, Wikipedia usually just says “Date uncertain” is they aren’t sure about someone’s death, so clearly the only plausible explanation is that Mr. Hall is immortal. I’m thinking vampire, though bargain with Satan also seems like a likely explanation.

I apologize for the previous four paragraphs. I’m tired.

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